One morning, I was standing in the study using the full sized mirror that lives in the study – because after all, a mirror in the bedroom is bad feng shui – contemplating my ensemble.
When ‘thwack’ – something hits my upper arm.
Looking around I see a small bird peering back at me from the back corner of the bottom bunk. Yep, I had been hit by a bird in the arm. What are the chances that a bird will fly in – through the downstairs back door, up stairs, into the study and then into my arm?
I do what I believe any mature women would do in this sort of situation, yep, I panicked, screamed and ran out of the house and on to the street.
I am terrified of animals.
I once found a small puppy in my courtyard and freaked out. Not quite knowing what to do I promptly closed the curtains hoping will all my heart that puppy would … disappear. And you know what, it did!
Whilst I just wanted to close the door and hope that the bird would disappear, even I realised that that was unlikely to be effective. I had to do something.
A call the firebrigade seems a little over the top – so instead, I called a my friend Penny who lives about an hour away. She wisely suggested I call someone a little closer. It was my brother in law, Grant, who had the challenging task of sorting me out.
He offered a series of ‘reasonable’ statements like “the bird will be more scared of you than you are of it” which, I find hard to belive, and suggestions like “give it a little prod with the broom and get it to fly towards the door”. Yeah, right, as if the bird isn’t going to attack me in the face if I were to do that.
Regardless, we came to the mutual agreement that something needed to be done and I hung up feeling energised and ready to act.
I creep up the stairs and peek around the corner into the study, the little guy is sitting there with his beady eyes looking right at me. I press my back up against the wall and I inch my way (keeping my eyese on the beady eyed bird) towards the balcony door. I get the door open before inching my way back out of the study.
Once out of the study. I do what I always do when I find myself in a time of crisis.
I head to the local cafe and catch my breath over eggs on toast and coffee. I was a little scared when I arrived home that perhaps the bird had made itself at home and was living it up at my place, but was pleasantly surprised to find my place empty.
That I was wearing a good outfit during this this time of crisis!